Count it all Joy....

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into trials. James 1:2



The first time someone quoted that scripture to me I laughed and thought impossible. How can you have joy in a time of trial? During a time of trial I can weep, be angry, feel depressed, fearful and have a feeling of being lost, but have joy? Am I to count the trial as Joy? Since I first heard that scripture the trial I was in has long been over and many others just like it.



Now I find myself in yet a new trial. This is a big one. It is putting a strain on my family and my marriage. I have wept and I am afraid. Yet this time I remembered the words of James to count it all joy. After I dried the tears and regained my focus I do see the joy. God cares for me and my family to use this trial to bring me closer to Him. The closer I am to Jesus the fear and anger is replaced by joy. I can praise God with joy and thanksgiving that He is with me and I am not lost.



Being in a trial is not fun, I pray it will come to an end soon. It will end in Gods time so for now, I will count it all joy know that real joy comes from the presence of God.

Toddler or Teen ?

Once the twins reached the age of four I really thought I had graduated from having toddlers. I recently found out how wrong I was. This is what I have now learned. Toddlers have difficulty communicating and thus tend to throw tantrums. Teenagers do too. Toddlers desire to expand their boundaries and test them at every turn. Teenagers do too. A toddler with a sibling will want negative attention rather than no attention. A teenager does too.

At the end of a difficult day a toddler needs to rest in mom's arms and know that everything will be all right. My teenager does too. I have been reminded that some of the parenting knowledge that I learned when my kids were under four still applies when they are 13.

50/50 Split

I am often asked are the twins alike? (the answer will always be no just two boys born on the same day) or Who does this child take after? Which one is more like you or Kelly? In my house we have a 50/50 split. My oldest son Colton and my youngest son Mitchell are more like me. They look more like me and talk like me. We three love to sleep late, stay indoors, and we have no problem being by ourselves. We have a similar sense of humor. we three must always have the last word, we have the same temper and we are very emotional.

Kelly my husband, Andrew the second or middle son, and Garrett the other twin are cut from the same cloth. They are outgoing, funny, and competitive. They are very social and make friends easily. They love to make others laugh. They love the outdoors and are always busy. They are quick to get angry and even quicker to forgive and forget. They look alike and I always tell Andrew and Garrett how much they look like their father. They always want to help and help without asking.

The things listed above are what I fell in love with Kelly and are what I love about each of my boys. They are the traits that I cherish and respect in each of them. Even though we have many differences and similarities we are a whole. There is a 50/50 split but there is 1 complete family.

Whose Plan is this?

I am a planner. I always have a plan. I have even had a job as a planner. I plan my dinner even before I have my coffee in the morning. I can plan my day, my week and my month. Most days my thoughts can be up to two months out. At the moment I am already in October. One thing about me (it took a while for my husband to catch on) is don't mess with the PLAN. I married a surpriser(that is for another post).

There was a dark moment in my life not too long ago. I was in a hospital being evaluated and admitted for suicide depression. The police officer in order to fill out his report asked me, "Did I have a plan?" I just laughed at him. Did I have a plan? Of course I had a plan. I always had a plan. In fact I had many plans. As I continue on my journey with God, I continue to learn about His plan. You see He had a plan too. The day I was to take my life, I was too weak and exhausted to go through with My plan. Was that part of His plan? I think so.

I did not plan to have 4 boys. I did not plan to have twins. I did not plan to be married for 15 years and counting. I did not plan to be 37 years old. I did not plan to have autism in my family. He did. My plans are not complete. His plans are. Gods perfect plan is what continues to shape me each day. I pray it shapes me into the image of Him. Without Gods plan I would have missed the opportunity to raise 4 amazing boys into Godly men. Without Gods plan for twins I would have not faced the darkness of depression and seen the light of His love and grace. Without Gods plan I would not have been married to a wonderful man for 15 years and looking forward to many more. With out Gods plan for autism in my life, I would have missed real mercy, compassion and understanding.

Gods plan has brought me to my knees and a the foot of the cross. There are days that I could just camp there. As His plan continues to unfold in my life, I will remained camped at the cross. For I know it will continue to draw me closer to Him. I wholly accept His plan even if it is not what I have planned.

A new begining

I have been inspired to begin blogging. A very good friend of mine has a wonderful blog that I read every day. She has encouraged me and believes that I can do this. My blog is titled the Seasons of my life. One of my favorite songs is Turn, Turn, Turn. It is in my ipod. This was my favorite before I knew it was in the bible. I believe that there is a purpose for every season in life. I believe that God is present in all the seasons of life.

My life has had many seasons, I am sure over time I will reflect on some of them. I have survived the early marriage, newborn, toddler, teething and potty training season. I am now in the homework, endless carpool, sports practice and teenage season.

A few weeks ago the twins Garrett and Mitchell began school. I now have 3 hours and 20 minutes all by myself.(if you don't count the dog) My kids, friends, neighbors and even my husband asks What will I do with that time? I can go to the market, Target, Costco, Gym, clean house and even go for a run. What I can not do is any two of those things together. Somehow there is just not enough time. You see for the past 6 years I have not been able to do any of those things separate or together, alone without a car full of snacks, taking kids in and out of car seats, tantrums or setting up a movie in the car.

So for this year, I will be content to do one thing by myself each day. This season will be short, while in it I know it feels that it will not end but, like all the other seasons God will guide me through bring it to an end and begin yet a new one...