Every day I read many blog posts. I first go to my friend Sarah's blog read what she has posted. What she writes is so amazing and inspiring. She has opened my eyes and heart to love her and her family even more than I already did. I then travel down and look at each of the links on her blog to all the others she recommends. I look at each one, I look for new posts and read them all. I travel into a snapshot of each of their lives. I find laughter, prayer request, inspiration, confirmation of Gods love, identification of what each person may be going through and maybe so am I. I tell myself each day that I should make comments to their posts I do feel a connection and yet fear keeps me from commenting.
As I travel down the list of names each day I see mine. Each day it causes me to freeze up because the fear is so real. I just do not know how to start. I do not know where to start. I must have 50 journals in my house with one or two entries. Getting out what is in my heart and head is so hard. I so desire to have a light heart and yet right now my heart is so heavy.
This is so hard and yet I know so very important. I want to have something for my kids. I continue to as God to show me what I am to do. I am not a scrapbooker or journal writer. I want to be a blogger however I am afraid to write. There is something about seeing words on a page. I love to read so I know when words are written they become real.
Like all fears in life getting through the first steps are always the hardest. I am sure if I post more often the fears will lesten. So I am still not sure how to start but I am willing to try.
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7 comments:
I love your transparency. You are a wonderful mother, an amazing friend and a mighty woman of God. I love you! (Not to mention an accomplished half-marathoner!)
Oh Stacia - how i loved your truth of having so many journals with one or two entries. that is me and try as i might, my fears keep me from so much. after reading your thoughts today tho, i'm going to find one of my journals and make an entry.
I check your blog EVERYDAY...I love hearing from because at church it's always hi and bye as we rush off to our lunch plans. I think blogging helps us keep up with eachother!
Hi Stacia, I'm Renee. I've never been to your blog before, but just today I started to go through the links on Sarah's blog, and came to yours. It's kind of funny that the first time I did this, I found a posting about how you read the links on her page. She has brought so many people together!
I am also very much like you. I love to write...but have a hard time putting into words what I want to say. I usually either babble, or quote songs or something I've read...I have a hard time finding the right words. Something that Sarah is very gifted at.
The great thing about blogging, though, is that you can be real. If your heart is heavy, there is nothing wrong with writing about what is weighing it down. If your heart is light...it's fun to share the joys. And maybe you'll get some encouragement along the way!
Sometimes I find that even on here, I struggle with 'popularity'. I look at how many comments other people get, and sometimes feel that I'm not as popular as I'd like to be. It's these times when I have to remind myself of what it's all about. I'm not doing this for other people (even though that's a blessing too), I'm doing it for me. As an outlet.
Sorry for the long comment...something just clicked for me.
Thank you for the comment on my blog today. I applaud you for being open & willing to share your heart even in not knowing how to get started...that in itself was a heart moment. Keep going..the more you do it, the more you'll find that maybe you will open up. You do a great job!
I will pray that you will find the words to express your heart. Looks like you are doing a wonderful job already!
first of all iluv how you r honest here is a suggestion from the little sis inlaw talk about the boys what funny thing they say the things they do that are also some times stupid and or funny give us a funny line from mitch every day or so those boys r you life most of the time so talk about them and i love u soo mugh
thank for beaing the "big" sister
taylor
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